how it is to get "home" after an exchange year

People often tell you how hard it is to go on exchange and start a new life... how to adapt to a new environment and how to find friends… but what do they say about the time after? 

Even though sometimes my time in the US seemed like eternity, time flew by and I always knew the day would come and I have to leave the life I just built.

I had to leave the people that I love like my own family. I had to leave some of the most loving and caring friends I’ve ever had. I had to leave the little town that became my second home, my high school, and just every single thing I worked so hard to get within the year. But most of all, I had to leave the experience.

Leaving your exchange year means it will NEVER be the same again. Sure you can come back and I will, but I’ll never open my locker again or celebrate homecoming. I can’t text my exchange friends, because they will still be all over the world. Even with my family, will it ever be the same again or just feel like a visit?

And this thought is EXTREMELY terrifying. Now I would give ANYTHING to go back to my exchange year. I realize that all the moments I thought badly of were so important for me and made me to the person I am today. 

A LOT of my sentences still start with “In America” or “During my exchange year” and that’s another problem. Because nobody understands. Your family and friends barely know anything about your second life. Of course, they saw your pictures and you told them, but they don’t know what it’s like. They don’t know how the people are like. They don’t know what bus takes you home. They don’t know how you spent your evenings, where you can buy the best food, or how deep your connection to your host family was. They have no idea what an AMAZING experience you had and most of all, they can’t imagine what you had to leave behind.

What you’re leaving is not a country, it’s a life.

Coming back was hard for me. I was struggling so much to see photos of my friends meeting without me, to see how school starts again, and how my family goes to places I wanted to go. I got depressed when people didn’t understand why I kept talking and talking about my experience. I missed literally everything, even things that annoyed me so much while I was there. Everything people did or said made me angry because it was different from what people in America would do. I separated everything in “my life in the US” and “my life after”, in "good" and "bad".

But all I know is that life MOVES ON. It was painful, but I had to realize that my year is over.  Even though nobody understood what I’ve been through, what I saw, and what I experienced, I know how awesome and memorable my year was. It changed me a lot and it will always be part of me. I will try to cherish all the moments I had and be thankful for the life I got to live. 

"Don't be sad because it's over, be glad that it happened!" even though it's one of those weird exchange student quotes, it's definitely true! Try to get over it, be thankful for your experience and save money to go back home!!